The Choice

I ripped this from my old blog because I loved it so much. ***SPOILER ALERT*** If you want to read The Darkness Within Us, wait to read this. I plan to use it in the second novel, The Darkness that Surrounds Us, but even if I don't, there's some spoilers for the first novel.

This is what I imagine the landscape and her "hut" looking like...

Listen to this chillstep mix for an immersive experience (around the 35 minute mark) while reading this. It was what I was listening to at the time.

“There are such misconceptions about falling in love. It takes longer than some people think, but not as long as you might expect. Falling in love happens in moments. Perhaps four or five moments that exist between two people. For people whose souls were born into this world to search out the other, it takes even less than that. You and Kaiyn were made for each other at the dawn of time. In every life, you will scour the universe for the other without realizing it. Until you are together, you feel a restlessness that can only be calmed in the presence of the other. You know this is true because you felt it. As soon as you were on his ship, everything he said made sense. Even when Namara tried to poison you against him, a part of you knew she was lying. It is why it was so easy for you to agree to stay and fight with him. You are warriors cut from the same cloth, but in every new life, you must be reminded of it. You must fall in love with each other over and over again until the Final Awakening when you will be allowed to live out your lives in peace at last. He is your King and you are his Queen and only together can you defeat this threat.” The ethereal voice of the oracle blended with the night sounds of the animals in the canopy to create a melody that I couldn’t describe. Soft music drifting up from the group on the beach complemented the serene feeling despite our dire conversation.

“But if I leave, you’ll all die.”

“It is the way it was meant to be.”

“I can’t leave my mother. I can’t watch her die all over again.”

“You survived it before and you will survive it again. Carry her love with you. If you do not find Kaiyn and continue in this war, there will be no hope for anyone. We will all fall.”

It was such an impossible request. My mom or Kaiyn. I loved them both. I knew that now. The oracle was right. I had loved Kaiyn for nearly as long as I’d known him and knew in that moment when Namara’s ship had locked onto my signature that he felt the same. The pain in his face when I was ripped from his fingers was almost tangible. Even knowing that, though, how could I sit back and let my mom die, too? There had to be a way to save them both. I walked back to my hut and fell into the softness of my bed, but sleep did not come until early the next morning. I finally decided to wait until I could find a way to keep them both.

Time had run out, though.

Sirens woke me before the sun had cleared the trees. I had only been asleep for about an hour and the sound was like a drill in my skull but it still couldn’t pull me from the depths of my dreams. Akasha’s vice-like grip and rough shaking did the job.

“Woman! You must wake! The Juntu have found us!”

I leaped from my bed and kicked the covers that had wrapped around my ankles and threatened to take me down to the worn wooden floor. My heart beat like a drum. Too fast. Adrenaline pumped through my body. If Namara had sent the Juntu, then she knew I would not be joining her and that the time had come to remove the threat. Would she also be sending them after Jackson? Did she even know about him? I had to assume she did and that his life was in danger as well. I had to find him.

“I received word from the Commander a few minutes ago.” Akasha’s words pulled me from my thoughts about Jackson. “He has been taken into custody by the High Council. They are staging a coup. He will be executed.”

My heart nearly stopped. Actually, I think it did skip about three or four beats. Kaiyn was going to die! The impossibility of my choice caught in my throat like a sob and I had to fight my instinct to collapse in the floor under the weight of it and my exhaustion. The oracles’ words were coming to pass. Even if I could put away the thought of Namara killing everyone else, I couldn’t stomach the one that told me Kaiyn and Jackson’s lives were at stake, as well. Maybe it made me a horrible person, but it made my choice clear. Just not any easier.

“Get the shuttle running. I’ll meet you there in five.” I forced the tears down and the words from my mouth. “I have to go say goodbye to my mother.”

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#text #exerpts